Dear Mothers,

Thank you.

No living being could exist without a mother. We need a father, too, but their contribution could mean that a father and their child have never even met. With technology, the father and mother may never meet! And so, mothers, we owe everything to you.

In Buddhism, we take time to reflect on the kindness of our mothers, not as a sentimental gesture but as a profound meditation to open our hearts.

The meditation on the kindness of our mother is one part of the Seven-Point Mind Training used to develop universal love, compassion, and bodhicitta. In meditation, we might contemplate something like this…

From the moment we were conceived, we depended completely on our mother’s body, care, and sacrifice. She endured months of discomfort and then immense pain when we emerged from her body.

Unlike many animals, like ducks or chicks, we come out into the world completely helpless, not even knowing how to eat! Our mother taught us to eat, walk, and read, the basic pillars that hold up any success we’ve achieved. 

When were little, we had no idea what would hurt us. Two-year-olds often seem intent on killing themselves! Think of how much energy it took just to protect us from running into big trouble as toddlers.

When we reached adolescence, our hormones or the impulse to detach caused us to frequently be unkind to our mom. While she longed for the child that had once seemed to love her unconditionally, had clung to her for refuge, we just wanted to be away with our friends. As the pain of knowing we would soon leave home increased for her, we detached.

Even when she’s old and wobbly on her feet, our mother still wants to help us. We often forget about her, but, most likely, she thinks about us every day.

I like to think that every single mother did her best. Lots of people inherit some generational trauma from their mother. Perhaps it’s our purpose in this life to heal this trauma and not pass it on.

Even if our mother got many things wrong, she had to get a million things right just to keep us alive. 

“The Buddha once said (Anguttara Nikaya 2:32) that if you were to carry your parents around with you for their whole lives—your father on one shoulder and your mother on the other—even to the point where they were losing their faculties and their excrement was running down your back, this would not repay your debt of gratitude to them (Ajahn Amaro, 2024).”

When a stranger lets us go in front of them in line at the grocery store, we’re grateful. We say something like, ‘Thank you. You’re so kind.’ They’ve maybe given us an extra five minutes of not standing in line. Compare this with all the help we’ve received from our mother; it’s like a grain of rice compared to a mountain.

And it’s not just our birth mother. The meditation on the kindness of others expands our view to see how so many beings have helped us. Teachers, friends, partners, the people who provide protection or harvest the food we eat. Every comfort we enjoy today exists because of the kindness of others.

This reflection softens the walls of self-importance and grows something beautiful in its place: gratitude. Universal connection.

On Mother’s Day and every day, may we honor the kindness of all mothers—past, present, and those disguised as friends, teachers, or strangers who’ve cared for us along the way.

References: Ajahn Amaro. Reflecting on a Mother’s Love. Lion’s Roar [online]. Retrieved from: https://www.lionsroar.com/reflecting-on-a-mothers-love/

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