Seeing all beings as having once been our mother in countless past lives is one of the most fundamental Buddhist beliefs. This belief leads to the development of universal compassion.
In Buddhist practice, especially in the Mahayana tradition, we sometimes take a curious approach to compassion:
We imagine every being we meet has, at some point, been our mother. Or father. Or child. Or eccentric uncle. Or adorable grandma.
This isn’t about getting tangled in literal family trees. It’s a skillful tool for opening our hearts. The Buddha himself taught that over countless lifetimes, we’ve all been connected in endless ways.
The Buddha said the following in the Mata Sutta (Mother Sutra):
In the Mother Sutra, Buddha explained how it’s possible for all beings to have our family at one point.
At Savatthi. There the Blessed One said:
“From an inconstruable beginning comes transmigration. A beginning point is not evident, though beings hindered by ignorance and fettered by craving are transmigrating & wandering on. A being who has not been your mother at one time in the past is not easy to find… A being who has not been your father… your brother… your sister… your son… your daughter at one time in the past is not easy to find.”
The neighbor who parks too close to your driveway? At some point, he was the one who taught you to walk. The stranger at the grocery store with thirty items in the “10 or less” line? Quite possibly the person who once stayed up all night nursing you through a fever.
This practice isn’t confined to Tibetan Buddhism. This is a Buddhist teaching, and really, a universal principle. It’s not limited to humans, either. The sparrow outside your window, the ant on the sidewalk, the cat who ignores your existence until mealtime: each has, in some distant past, played a loving, protective role in your life.
Developing Universal Compassion and Bodhicitta
When we remember the immeasurable kindness of all beings by reflecting on the kindness we’ve received in just this life, gratitude blooms in our heart. This right view sparks the wish to give back. From this wish arises loving-kindness: the sincere hope that all beings know happiness.
Cultivating this view deepens into great compassion, the aching wish for all to be free from suffering. Then comes the most extraordinary intention—to take personal responsibility for the lasting and liberation of others. We realize that the surest way to help others is to awaken ourselves. And so, bodhicitta is born: the vow to reach enlightenment, not for our escape alone, but so that every being may awaken alongside us.
In the oft-quoted Pali Kataññu Sutta, the Buddha teaches the following:
I tell you, monks, there are two people who are not easy to repay. Which two? Your mother and father. Even if you were to carry your mother on one shoulder and your father on the other shoulder for 100 years, and were to look after them by anointing, massaging, bathing, and rubbing their limbs, and they were to defecate and urinate right there [on your shoulders], you would not in that way pay or repay your parents. If you were to establish your mother and father in absolute sovereignty over this great earth, abounding in the seven treasures, you would not in that way pay or repay your parents.
Why is that? Mother and father do much for their children. They care for them, they nourish them, they introduce them to this world. But anyone who rouses his unbelieving mother and father, settles and establishes them in conviction; rouses his unvirtuous mother and father, settles and establishes them in virtue; rouses his stingy mother and father, settles and establishes them in generosity; rouses his foolish mother and father, settles and establishes them in discernment: To this extent one pays and repays one’s mother and father.
How this Buddhism Belief Leads to Compassion and Enlightenment
- Recognize all beings as our mothers – Over countless rebirths, everyone has cared for us and loved us, as a mother loves her child.
- Remember their kindness – We reflect on the love, protection, sleepless nights, meals cooked, and diapers changed in this life. This whole messy, beautiful package was repeated over and over in our countless past lives.
- Wish to repay their kindness – Gratitude plants the seed of affection and wanting to give back to mother beings.
- Develop loving-kindness – The sincere wish for all beings to be happy.
- Generate great compassion – The deep wish for all beings to be free from suffering.
- Cultivate the extraordinary intention – Taking personal responsibility for the happiness and liberation of others, we deduce that the best way we can help others attain lasting happiness and freedom from suffering is to attain enlightenment ourselves.
- Generate bodhicitta – The vow to reach enlightenment so we can help everyone else get there too. Our motivation is really about the awakening of all living beings
We don’t practice this because we enjoy sentimental daydreams about past lives (although they can be entertaining). We practice it because it works. Each time we remember that the person in front of us (saintly or snappy) has once loved us like family, something shifts. Walls soften. Hearts open. And suddenly, helping them isn’t a chore; it’s just returning a favor from long, long ago.
Practical Application
In daily life, this practice invites us to see each being as having been our beloved mother, father, son, or daughter. We see the co-worker that normally annoys us and think, “Hi Mom.” This right view helps us engage with more kindness, patience, and understanding.
If someone speaks harshly or acts without consideration, we can pause and imagine that this person once cradled us as a baby, fed us when we were hungry, or stayed awake all night to comfort us when we were ill. Holding this perspective can dissolve irritation and open the door to compassion.
When we see someone struggling on the street, for example, we can recall our past connection and allow that recognition to soften us and spark a natural wish to help. Even a smile, a patient ear, or a word of encouragement becomes an offering of gratitude for the care they once gave us.
Over time, this way of seeing transforms ordinary interactions into opportunities for loving connection and compassion, softening the heart toward all beings without exception.
The Gifts of This Special Buddhism Belief
- A feeling of interconnectedness
- Growing compassion
- Relief from self-centeredness
- Bodhicitta, the awakened heart
- Joyful effort in the six perfections
- Our enlightenment
- The enlightenment of all beings
Mindfulness Practice for Daily Life Practice: “We are Family”
Morning Intention
When you wake, set the intention
“Today, I will see every being as my mother, father, child, sister, brother, or dear friend. We have all loved and cared for one another in lifetimes past. May I meet them with kindness.”
Throughout the Day
- Pause & Remember – Each time you engage with someone, try to pause for a moment and see them as your mother, father, sister, brother, daughter, son, grandmama, or grandpa.
- Random Acts of Kindness – Offer a small gesture: a smile, a door held open, letting someone merge in traffic, a kind comment. Let it be a gift to a beloved from long ago.
- Transforming Difficult Encounters – If someone is rude or impatient, recall: “Ah, my old mother (or father, or child)… once they gave me so much love. I will meet them with patience.”
Evening Dedication
Before sleep or at dinner, close your eyes and gather your day’s moments of kindness. Offer them like a bouquet:
“May this goodness contribute to my awakening, for the sake of all beings, without exception.
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